Positive Regard

We love the work of Becky Bailey and Conscious Discipline here at Living Wisdom. Her philosophy of discipline is rooted in love, compassion, and respect, and she offers practical suggestions for how to implement the philosophy. One of her fundamental ideas is, “what you focus on, you get more of.”

Sometimes, we get stuck in a negative feedback loop with the kids in our lives. That is, we only notice what they’re doing wrong. When that’s all we notice, that’s what we get more of. A former parent was telling us the other day that this was happening with her husband and their son. So, he sat down and made a list of 20 positive things he knew about his son. This broke him out of the negative spiral, and he was able to notice more and more positive things in his son.

We can do this with our kids, with our parents, with our co-workers, and even (especially) with ourselves. When we focus on positive behaviors and traits, that’s what we’ll start to see them more.